Li'l Foot teaches a lesson in forgiveness...

My heart it aches!!!

My hands...they trembled!!!

My eyes...they leaked!!!

On Sunday night we got home from being out all day long. Hubbie went upstairs to take a shower and while I was waiting for him to finish I had Li'l Foot downstairs. I decided I would put together a load of her laundry. I got her undressed and she was on the big comfy chair. I had her far up on it laying on it so her head was by the back cushion and her feet by the edge. As I fluttered around getting her laundry together, she pumped her legs up and down, back and forth, bent and straightened. I guess each time she did she was moving herself closer to the edge (you see where this is going right?). Well I was at the laundry closet (all of about 5 feet away from the chair) and the next thing I hear a THUD and I turn and she's face down on the floor.

FACE DOWN!!!

SHIT!!!

NOT GOOD!!!

BAD!!!

I was in shock but threw the clothes I had in my hand on the floor and I ran over, and in fact scooped her up before she could even get her first crying wail out. And man did she wail. She screamed and screamed and screamed. I felt so horrible. Many emotions rushed through my body...

SHOCK

TERROR

ANXIETY

FEAR

HELPLESSNESS

LOVE...GOD I LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!!!

After I could calm her down a little bit, I fed her. Shortly after that I gave her a bath and she was her usual happy smiley self again as if nothing ever happened. I fed her some more and then I had her sleep with us. I don't know which part of her face hit the floor. I think it was her nose. I put ice on her forehead, nose and left cheek. I looked for black & blues until we fell asleep, but none. There aren't any this morning either. If she had one this morning I wouldn't have taken her to day care. I feel sooooo badly. I can't stop crying. I know she's probably fine but I just keep seeing her face down on the floor and it breaks my heart. I just feel terrible. How could I let this happen. I should've just put her in her bouncy seat. And Sean didn't make me feel any better about it. As I eas bathing her I said to him. I am so sorry this happened and asked him not to tell anyone. He said he wished I hadn't even told him that it happened and that stuff like this is how children die and he wanted to fly off the handle but didn't. I felt bad enough and he really didn't make it any better. The thought of her falling on her nose and her nose bone being pushed up into her brain is haunting me and I can't think about anything else.

I know I know...no matter what now we HAVE to buckle her in to stuff and not put her on the couch and bed and stuff like that. She's not rolling over yet, but I guess she can scoot one way or the other.